We
all enjoy the exciting feeling that travelling brings right? Well
some of us do, sometimes when you look back on your relaxing holiday
you quietly reminisce about laying on a beach or that couple who were
your holiday pals. If you really stop and think though. It wasn't all
that relaxing was it.
If
you are lucky enough to have found a holiday that hasn't required the
remortgage of your house and the sale of your least favourite child,
you eventually find yourselves ready to take flight. Now initially
you will have passport panic about 50 times on the way to the airport
and you've had the taxi driver reassuring you that not all planes
crash, you will eventually be checked in and awaiting take off. The
flight can be a traumatic experience for some. for example, smokers
and people who get hungry but have left their wallet in their case.
You then become the most irritating other half on the planet. I
myself have found that I have moaned for 4 hours on a flight that I
am hungry, so much so the person in front gave me a sandwich to shut
me up and for those adventurous flyers out there who think it's a
good idea to join the mile high club! Why on earth would you do this?
You are 'doing it" in one of the most confined used toilet
cubicles on earth. I mean have you seen Slumdog Millionaire? Those
toilets are more hygienic!
So
you are lucky enough to have landed safely and providing you haven't
flown with monarch, you probably have your luggage too. You are in
new uncomfortably hot county where nobody understands a word you are
saying. So you now adopt the local dialect, this being English but
said.........very............very............slowly. My dad once
asked me to order him a coffee when we were away in Rome. so I put on
a really bad super Mario style Italian voice and asked.
"Heya,
Escuse... you giva me da cafe eh?"
turns
out the barista was fully fluent in English and just thought I was a
head mental child. She even gave me free Biscotti. You also as an
adult maybe faced with my problem. Now I absolutely do not have a
body to be seen topless, yet my girlfriend is one of those head
turners. So I just kind of sit around in a t-shirt and shorts afraid
of the beachy judgement.
Whilst
in a new country every day poses new challenge, The food being one i
mean go to Poland look at a menu and think I will try the local
cuisine. Once I thought I was getting experimental and ordered
'Kurtka
sera ziemniaków i fasoli' when a cheese and bean jacket potato
arrived I was pretty disappointed
to say the least.
Then
you are struck with the thought of maybe I should embrace a little of
the local culture. This in many places is an amateur
mistake!
Once
I was in Morocco and went into a shop to buy a fez, Do not judge I
was young! Also I have a good egg shaped head which suits the shape
of a fez. My first mistake was trying it on. I was forced to buy this
fez as apparently in some places in Morocco, If you try, you buy. If
you don't by I hold you hostage until you do buy. I'll be honest, I
brought it. This is all part of the holiday experience which in my
view is the least relaxing thing to do. Just go to Devon! It's the
riviera of England and everybody kind of understand what you are
saying.
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